Thoughts on Luke Skywalker
by Toni
Summary: Yet another viggie series from me! This time, I decided to do a character study on Luke.
1. Chapter 1

A New Hope

You were the last hope – or at least that's what I thought. I always thought of you as the miracle child who had survived the Purge. Who was, along with your sister, the only light to come from those darkest of days. The day that I left your father limbless, burning from the fire he had made himself as well as the lava.

_The son of the Chosen One._

And I watched you more than you know. I couldn't make myself wait long in between visits as I felt responsible for you. I felt so much of the responsibility for you being orphaned. For Anakin being betrayed and murdered by Darth Vader. The failure that still haunts me.

Through all those years in the desert, waiting for the Force to give me a sign, I was sure that the dark times could finally be ended. And you grew into a young man, entirely too talented and impatient to be satisfied with a farmer's life. When you appeared with your mother's droid with a message from your sister, I knew the time had come to begin to show you what you were capable of. To show you what needed to be done that only you were capable of

You were given a heavy burden to bear. But the Sith had to be stopped, at any cost. They had brought the entire Galaxy into darkness. And I was sure that you were the best chance to bring them down.

_Even if one of them used to be your father._

I know you feel that I lied to you about that. But by telling myself that Anakin and Vader are two separate beings is the only way I kept myself sane. And you weren't yet ready to hear the entire truth. It would destroy you to learn who the man you had imagined and admired was.

_At least that is what I told myself._

But maybe you were ready to hear the truth about your parents. Perhaps I wasn't ready to tell it.


	2. Chapter 2

Identity of the Pilot

"It was Luke Skywalker who fired the shot that destroyed the Death Star." I could hardly believe what I was hearing, even though I'd felt that the Force was strong in the pilot. If the mechanical pumps could have stopped breathing I would have. I had to learn more, especially after what I'd felt in the trenches. Sure enough, the more I found, the more convinced I became that my son had survived. Had grown up on the same planet that I had, the one that I had no reason to return to.

_Or so I thought._

It wasn't just the need to find an apprentice that led me to search the Galaxy for you. The relief that I hadn't killed my own children was like nothing I'd felt before. It meant that I might not be completely alone and isolated in the Galaxy. It meant that I could have part of Padmé back.

_The child who was the result of our love._

I'd found my best chance of finally doing what I should have done years before. I could kill Palpatine and make the Galaxy into what I'd wanted it to be. There would be no more following a man who I now realized had never shown any interest in anything but gaining more power for himself.

_I was a fool to think he had any interest in saving my wife and children._

After our duel, I still wanted to see you again. I just never thought that I would without doing yet another search of the Galaxy. But I did, although I could hardly believe you would willingly come to me.

Seeing you being hit with Sidious' lightning bolts, close to death, I don't know how I ever thought that I could just stand by and watch. It didn't matter that I'd been expected, for my whole life it seemed, to be a slave. Instead, I finally felt free. That I had a choice for one of the few times in my life. I knew that I did not have to let my Master kill my own son.

And as I hate to leave you as soon as I have found you, it's better this way. For we all have our time to become one with the Force.


	3. Chapter 3

A New Beginning

How could I forget when we first met? I felt ready to die, along with my planet; with my father and my friends. I thought I was going to be killed by the Empire. At least I would have died without them learning where the Alliance base was. Then you appeared in my cell, saying "I'm Luke Skywalker; I'm here to rescue you." I'm sure you'd been gaping a moment before, as if to say "There's a real, live princess in there."

But that wasn't precisely when we first met, was it? We have a connection that goes back to before we were even born.

_Twins._

I had no idea I had any brothers or sisters. All that my Dad told me was that I was adopted. Also, that my birth mother had been a friend and colleague of his who died when I was very young. I wish I could tell you more.

I was surprised when you asked me if I could remember my mother. I hadn't thought of her in years. There was only one vague memory that I'm sure is real, no matter how hard it is to remember or how young I was at the time.

_Flesh torn from Flesh._

And as soon as I knew the truth, you left to face our father. And it's taken a long time to be able to say that. While I had no problem accepting you as my brother, it hasn't been like that regarding _our father_. I know you wish I would think of him as you do; and I gave him another chance partly for you. But even if I could forgive him torturing me, I know too much about what he did and it is not all up to me to forgive.

_For you can only forgive those wrongs done against you._

But I don't want to tell you more about that. You've already lost so much of the innocence you had when I first met you. It's hard to see so much pain in your eyes sometimes. But I'm sure you have the strength to survive in this Galaxy and bring the Jedi Order back. You're the perfect one to do just that, with your Jedi skills that I still don't completely understand.


	4. Chapter 4

The Lost Command

I had no idea what to expect from you when we first met. You were the last person I had pictured in my mind from what my Master told me. Instead of the dangerous traitor only out to destroy, I found a soft-spoken farmboy when I tried to follow his last command.

_You will kill Luke Skywalker._

But even though I felt my life had been destroyed and I could still hear his voice in my mind, I soon learned I could never do that. What I found was that we complemented each other perfectly. And you were somehow always _there_, even when I didn't think I wanted you to be. Not being used to being able to depend on someone, learning that I could was hard. But you were more patient than I deserved and somehow we always found our way back to each other.

I never thought I would fall in love with you. I'm sure you know very well that I was brought up in a world where love was considered a weakness. But being with you didn't make me feel weak. Instead, I could accomplish so much more with you. For the first time since the Death Star had been destroyed, I felt that my life might have a purpose and might be worth living.

And I never regretted our marriage. I don't care what horrible attention we get from it as "Vader's son and the Emperor's Hand." I've found love and security and I know you've found that with me. That's worth putting up with the stupid stares and whispers that we get.

But we have been tested, we've been through been through difficult times. I've never been patient, and your Academy seemed slow to me. But how was I to know that just about the first mission I went on for it for lead to about the first sign of the greatest threat this Galaxy has ever faced? When I got the Vong disease, the catastrophe became personal. But you helped me recover and never gave up hope that I would recover. That Ben would be fine. And that was about the first time I appreciated your optimism, which had mostly exasperated me before.


End file.
